She came back home again tonight. We are going out tomorrow since both of us have the day off – something we decided about a week ago. I told her I was going to surprise her, and I am with a trip to Austin all day tomorrow. I figure we can see a few sites, shop on Sixth Street, and see the bats come out from under Congress Avenue Bridge. It's something we've never done and should have, and I hope it will end up being some good time spent together.
She did come angry and/or frustrated tonight, but she wouldn't tell me why. She's sitting on the couch text messaging New Guy. It is one of the most painful things imaginable watching your partner disociate herself from you. I hate that she's up communicating with him, and I hate that she'll probably be really tired tomorrow when we drive up to Austin.
Battling sexual behavior and keeping "sober" (as they call it in SAA meetings, which I honestly find a bit odd) hasn't been much of a challenge the last couple of days. I've spent a lot of time with her, which helped tremendously. Also, I really am starting to receive pornography and sexual urges differently. I really do feel sad when I see pornography now. I guess I feel like that because I've seen the effects of compulsive sexual behavior and am really hurting in my heart.
More tomorrow after Austin!
